Notes of Interest
I am an attachment-based therapist with a particular interest in the way advances in the brain sciences, and the growing fields of energy psychology and mindfulness practices, combine to further our understanding of ourselves and our capacity for connection.
Because I define my job as one of helping people separate themselves from their issues, I hesitate to define my practice by a list of mental health topics. Nonetheless, personal and professional experience makes me particularly committed to serving those who are tested by the transitions and situations listed below.
The Challenge of Being Differently Wired
The Challenge of Being Differently Defined
The Dilemma Faced by Divorcing Parents
The Loss of a Significant Other
The Challenge of Being Differently Wired(As Opposed to Character-Flawed)
People who are differently wired often live outside thenorm. Such individuals often benefit from having a relationship that invites them to regroup, and to stake their claim to ground. I refer here to those who feel at odds with the status quo of either their immediate communities, or of the Main Street bustle. This category of clients would include:
* "cultural creatives" - the artists and dreamers who struggle between the lines of a linearly-driven society;
* individuals born into a cognitive or emotional state not understood by others - such as those who identify with Elaine Aaron's Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) profile, or, oppositely, those people diagnosed (or not) with “Asperger’s” syndrome;
* all those who endeavor to share life with any of the above. Life with someone who is differently perceived, for someone who is not, carries challenges not easily defined.
The Challenge of Being Differently Defined
Distinctions of race, gender, sexual orientation, economic/educational status, religion, ethnicity, culture, and other details of our personal profiles rightfully beg a host of important questions: What is difference? When is it okay to notice it? When is it okay to ignore it? In what ways are distinctive qualities important? In what ways are they not important? Defining the line between oneself and others is particularly challenging when one feels disenfranchised from the norm. But respect for the line which separates oneself from others is as important as grasping the line which binds us all to each other. It is the capacity of individuals to negotiate both realities – that we are both different and the same - which allows us to live our personal lives fully, and intact.
The Dilemma Faced by Divorcing Parents
At
its best, divorce is a gracious if difficult acknowledgment that a
relationship has served its purpose, and is now outgrown. At its worst,
divorce is a confrontation of nerves, or a way of addressing unmet
needs. Adults and children regularly benefit from the support of
therapists trained in the challenges which divorce confers on
individuals, couples and children. Yet, for lack of time in the therapy
hour, the needs of divorcing parents often go unmet.
The
task of holding children together as ones life falls apart is grossly
understated. Concrete steps can be taken by one or both parents to
mitigate the long-term effect of divorce on children's lives, but this
requires a decision to take the high road, which can be difficult to
locate when emotional distress is extreme. A six-week program entitled Kids Turn, from
the Bay Area, helps divorcing parents focus on the immediate and
long-term needs of their children as the family cleaves its way through
the trials and tribulations of separation. As a facilitator for Kids Turn's
parent-group for many years, I was reassured to find that the high road
can in fact be made accessible, in a relatively short period of time,
to those parents who choose to reach for it. I invite any divorcing
parent who wants to stretch to contact me for one-on-one support. I
also offer a group workshop which educates separated and divorcing
parents about the needs of their preschool and school-aged children as
they work their way through this passage. See Workshop page for further information.
The Loss of a Significant Other* The
force of loss has no bounds. It consumes all we know about life, and
wreaks havoc on our sense of continuity and belonging. Like nothing
else, it has the capacity for turning the most well-connected person
into an alien unto him or herself, as well as unto others. Surviving
loss is an oxymoron. But it is possible to move on, intact. The catch
is that it takes time to grieve, and to make sense of life anew.
Eventually one lets go of everything one once understood. If one
doesn't cheat this second death, rebirth is not only possible, it is
inevitable. Yet, time for realizing loss is not granted by our cultural
milieu, which disdains “losers”. If one is to come to terms with
loss, one must do so on time conceived from scratch. I encourage and support anyone
who has been confronted by loss to take the time to grieve, and
catch their own breath.
*A significant other can be an infant, child, spouse, sibling, parent, mentor, close friend – anyone who has significantly colored your life.
...
Whether or not any of the above circumstances define your current experience, I invite you to call me. Tell me about your interests/concerns and ask about my experience. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain by calling around, talking to different therapists, and getting a feel for our different listening postures. Your job is to find a therapist who can hear you in ways you have not been heard before. See my contact page for more information.
