Different Strokes: Talk #2
Ten Tips on How to Be in Love with
Someone Who is Different from You
Beneath the surface of things, we are all not the same.
For example, some people take great pleasure in organizing time, managing to-do lists and getting things done. Others, oblivious to time, live “in the moment”, chronically forgetting where they have placed their to-do lists and jumping into the day - whatever day it is – with their sensory systems set for free-fall.
We need both kinds of people on the planet. But what happens if a free-faller and a to-do-lister move under one roof? Opposites attract – but can they live happily ever after?
Somewhere it has been said that if you want to measure the level of a culture’s collective wisdom, observe how well individuals in the culture tolerate and make room for each others' ways of being in the world.
Most of us would not score well on this test, particularly when it comes to the difference between our partners' way of being and our own. Though as a people we claim to stand for individual rights, as lovers we are much more keen to focus on our partner's individual wrongs. We tend to see differences in our partners as developmental issues. “If you are different from me it must be because one of us has to grow up and it isn’t me.”
More than the big and little differences we suffer, it is the disparaging way we respond to difference, itself, that turns relationships upside down.
Some of us come into our partnerships understanding there will be challenges – differences of opinion, different ways of behaving, responding and offering support. But most of us are not prepared for how difficult it can be to live with the differences we saw coming, to say nothing of the ones that take us by surprise.
And yet, it is by opening to the larger challenge of intimacy - seeing and responding to the differences it bares - that we get to realize our full capacity as human beings.
By discussion's end, participants will be in possession of ten tips for navigating the differences which challenge their intimate relationships, and as a result, they will have more ground to stand upon as they parlay for love.
Join us for an evening of discovery. I hope to see you there.
Talk will be held at:
HOPE Counseling Center*
1430 Alhambra Blvd., Suite 200
Sacramento, CA, 95618
*Note: Hope Center is on the second floor of a building that does not have an elevator. If you require special accommodations, please contact me so I can make other arrangements for you.
Email or Call now: (530) 863-9499
Rebecca Witter, LMFT - Midtown Sacramento and Davis, CA Therapist
2830 I Street, Sacramento, CA 95816 719 2nd Street, Davis, CA 95616