It goes without saying that if you increase your emotional intelligence, deepen your flow, and strengthen your capacity for relationship, you will generally become more adept at connecting with others.
But opportunities for being social are growing increasingly thin.
Texting, tweeting, chatting and assuming the lives of favorite avatar characters are changing more than the ways we communicate with each other, they are changing the way we show up for ourselves.
With the rise of the new communication technologies, our tolerance for solitude and our comfort with being off-line decrease. As this happens, our capacity for connection – for actually engaging with each other – is diminished. For that matter, showing up with interest and undiluted focus is hardly a viable option anymore – our dials are preset to the information highway and/or the distractibility of a thousand strangers. The expectation of having a quiet moment with ourselves on the side, or a coffee-shop conversation in vivo with one or two friends, or an afternoon off-line at the park with our children, is become more and more remote.
Technology – combined with a growing distrust of our ability to be here now – has us by the throat. In a February 2012 TED talk, psychologist Sherry Turkle, founder and current director of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self, notes, "The feeling that ‘no one is listening to me’ makes us want to spend time with machines that seem to care about us.” In the talk, she distinguishes between the impulse to connect and the desire to feel, and suggests we take heed of the difference.
Good therapy has the capacity to put us back in our skin, comfortable with ourselves, and less reliant on hard technologies for soft comforts. Ultimately, the more we know ourselves, the more we get to have choices regarding where, when, and how we tune into each other.
Email or Call now: (530) 863-9499
Rebecca Witter, LMFT - Midtown Sacramento and Davis, CA Therapist
2830 I Street, Sacramento, CA 95816 719 2nd Street, Davis, CA 95616