More Flexible and Enduring Relationships
"We live in the shelter of each other."
Old Celtic saying
By and large, we human beings have not understood love and so we have tended to either exaggerate or devalue the importance of relationships in our lives.
This is about to change. Research on the attachment of children has begun to revolutionize not only the way we think about the general goals of parenting, but the way we think about the specific goals of finding and keeping a mate.
"We now know that love is, in actuality, the pinnacle of evolution, the most
compelling survival mechanism of the human species. Not because it induces
us to mate and reproduce. We can (and do) mate without love. But because
love drives us to bond emotionally with a precious few others who offer us
safe haven from the storms of life..." Dr. Susan Johnson, Hold Me Tight
What does this mean?
In simple terms: Children are not the only people withattachment needs. We are all wired to connect. Love is not merely a romantic notion. According to researcher and clinical psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson, contrary to what we might choose to believe, "Love isn't icing on the cake of life. It is a basic, primary need, like oxygen and water."
This awareness is likely to cause problems.
The idea that it is worthy of an adult to "seek love" is enough to throw a fair percentage of US society - which is structured on ideals of individualism - into a tailspin. But this need not happen. Opening to ones desire for love, regardless of whether one finds it where one hopes, is the beginning of opening to all one is capable of receiving.
As a person who is keenly sensitive to our culture's dismissal of relationship and to its distortions of love, I am especially pleased to be able to use my professional training to help clients unpack their own most tender inheritance. Leaning heavily on Dr. Johnson's model of Emotionally Focused Couple's Therapy (a science-based relationship model), I provide both individuals and couples the opportunity to explore this inheritance, claim it for themselves, and ultimately, bear its fruit.
Email or Call now: (530) 863-9499
Rebecca Witter, LMFT - Midtown Sacramento and Davis, CA Therapist
2830 I Street, Sacramento, CA 95816 719 2nd Street, Davis, CA 95616